Chad and Hayley (Part II)
the cutest
you’re lying if you say that you don’t love them together
I love them. Gawd.
Covers and whatnot.
Helloooossss. This is our Titanium cover, by Sia and David Guetta. Have a listen!
in my head for a while
you know at times when you’re just hanging out with a bunch, and i mean a big bunch ‘bunch’, of friends, things can get a little - boring.
well, not boring ‘boring’, but a little misunderstood and lost and sometimes a little left out. a huge reason why my boyfriend thinks i’m anti-social by being on my new-found ipad most of the time now. being among people whom you don’t particularly favor can be a cause as well. just saying. but i bet most of you know what i mean. after all, we are all, or once, a self-righteous, arrogant, know-it-all teenager/young adult. we think that we’re perfect and that other people should understand that. but the problem is, how can others understand that when all of us think the exact same things? hah.
truth is, i kinda swayed from my original principals when i tried. really, i tried - hard - to be you, him, her, them, everyone else. i’d think i’m a human chameleon if i were standing aside watching my pathetic self change one after the other. and what do i get out of that? a lot and a big fat nothing. a lot of disappointing feelings and regrets and things and people i wouldn’t go near ever again if i could help it. and i learned, obviously. i learned who i should not go to, who i should help, who i should take example of and how i should be. in a way, i became an advanced chameleon. this is the way of the world, i told myself. and slowly, this became a part of me.
but this facade can only last for so long. after a while, i tire. i’m tired of being the chameleon. i’m tired of standing idling by watching people get stamped on, get pushed around, get talked about, and me being one of them? not so good a feeling. and then i realized. i’m not perfect. far from it. so why do i have to feel bad for myself when the rest of them are just like me? not perfect. and then it sinks in. they must feel as bad as i do on certain days and certain times and everyone has bad times. and that is why this is called life. its a rather peculiar thing, isn’t it? people. we talk about others to make ourselves feel better when all we want is praises from people like us. we are not superior than any one of us. so what is it about other people that allures us towards their good side?
i think for me, i need to value myself by myself. all this time, giving myself a hard time had been a not so motivating technic, and it certainly didn’t give me what i wanted in the end. pushing oneself in a wrong way may cause permanent damage to one’s mind and self confident. i should know. comparing ain’t gonna do the trick as well. what i need is to see myself as myself. not as other people. other people may do whatever the hell they see fit and have whatever morals they think is right but what were my original principals? do i still have them, or are they buried so deep that i can barely dig them out?
everyone’s a sinner, and no one’s perfect. accept that, move on and see yourself in a better light. better, not arrogant. now there’s a huge difference in that.
